A Tale of Two Capsules

By Seasoned Stoner

In the spirit of living that #ABXAdventure life, I tried macrodosing at work. Yeah, you may have already heard about all the benefits of microdosing, but when my team and I were talking about soft gels, and I said, “I think I could take a 50mgs and still work,” the rest of the team said, “DO IT.”

Here were the parameters: during the week (a day unknown to the rest of the team) I was going to take some of our soft gels, get super high, and try to work. They promised not to tell anyone else if they caught on.

So, without further ado, this is the story about what happens when your coworkers talk you into taking ABX soft gels at work.

• 9:30 am: 25mg down the hatch. I have an important meeting in an hour with one of the owners of the company and I have a lot I need to prepare. Not sure how this will go./
• 9:52 am: I can’t tell if I am feeling anything or just generally being distracted. I have 38 minutes until my meeting and haven’t gotten the things done yet for it. Instead, I’m currently browsing moviefone.com (not an ad) to see what movies are playing tonight. That one with Jim from the Office and Emily Blunt is playing. The one where kids have to be quiet or they get eaten by an alien monster. I am pretty sure that movie was just made up by an adult trying to teach their kids a lesson. I will 10/10 watch it. There is no way it can be any worse than Pacific Rim: Uprising.
• 10:09 am: I’m pretty sure my coworkers were just talking about me. I can’t tell if I’m paranoid or starting to feel the effects. (Editor’s Note: Hi, this is one of his coworkers. We had no idea.) It would help if I took off my noise canceling headphones but I really don’t want to. I think it’s because I am starting to be stoned. OK, the meeting is in 20 minutes and I’ve actually made some progress.
• 10:37: The meeting is starting late. I need that. I hate that my coworkers in my department know that I took cannabis soft gels today, I am pretty sure they are all being weird about it. It 100% could just be me. (Editor’s Note: It was 100% just him.) I’ve decided to limit talking to people today. Pretty sure that will only make them more convinced that I am stoned but we will see.
• 10:41 am: I forgot that this meeting was for new product development and that we are taste testing today. Fuckin hell.
• 10:42 am: I’m really glad I got a ride to work with my coworker today.
• 11:02 am: I’m trying to keep my speaking to a limit. Everyone looks at me every time I speak and suddenly I am very self-conscious. I’m pretty sure I can make it through the rest of this meeting without speaking.
• 11:05 am: I remembered to show them my packaging mockups! They were well-received. Everyone likes to look at a rendering of packaging. Pretty sure I saved myself. Now I’m typing on my computer to make it look like I am taking notes.
• 11:05 am: I told a joke, we all laughed! The owner did not. God, I need to get out of this conference room.
• 11:07 am: I wonder what would happen if I took another 25mg capsule today?
• 11:12 am: Whoop, just checked out for 5 minutes. I’m back.
• 11:48 am: Made it through the meeting! I feel really mellow, pretty relaxed, and not super spacey. If I have to use my brain, I totally can. Music and a good task are my friends right now.
• 12:32 pm: I took a second one. I think I wasn’t feeling it as much as I thought. Now that I’m back at my desk, amongst my coworkers, I feel like I can glide through the rest of the day. Tbd.
• 2:03 pm: My boss walked in and noticed within 2 minutes that I was stoned. It could be the fact that I was spaced out watching Connor McGregor throw a chair at a bus on TMZ.
• 2:24 pm: Oh god, my gf is calling me.
• 2:32 pm: Everything is good, she just wanted to talk on her lunch. I realized that if I don’t have to talk to anyone than I’m totally g2g and no one will notice that I’m stoned. Other than the fact that I have headphones on and am not talking to anyone.
• 2:46 pm: I forgot to mention that I’ve been listening to the discography of Miley Cyrus for the last 2 hours.
• 2:47 pm: The next 2 hours and 45 minutes are going to be brutal. I need a nice menial task to get me there. That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve done any work in 2 hours…
• 3:17 pm: Apparently our CEO is going to present the winner of our March Madness office bracket with their prize and wants us all to be there. I really don’t want to go and be around that many people. Ugh.
• 3:48 pm: That was a lot. In between hiding behind a door and having my boss tell me I was being weird, I got through it. Silly string was sprayed. Money was made to rain. Now I’m back at my desk and wondering if I can make it til 5pm, let alone 5:30…
• 3:50 pm: I’m halfway sure I haven’t gotten anything done today. I feel great though! I only realize I’m stoned when I have to focus, or talk to people. Which is pretty much most of my job, so it’s not a great day for productivity. But I feel confident at this point that I could take a 50mg capsule and not flip out.
• 3:57 pm: Boss left for the day. She also told me to “stop being weird” and tried to take my photo. Not sure if it was photo or video but I’m convinced it can’t be good either way. (Editor’s Note: It was a picture, and I got her to send it. You’re welcome.)
• 3:57 pm: This Miley album from 2010 is pretty garbage.
• 4:02 pm: “Yaaayeeaaaayeaayyeaaaa, it’s a party in the U.S.A!”
• 4:06 pm: Wondering about taking a third 25mg… Also pretty sure I couldn’t hang out with the gf after that though. I’m pretty sleepy as is.
• 4:09 pm: I just realized I didn’t eat lunch today! Breakfast burrito in the AM, a couple of cookies. I feel like I could eat a lot right now but I’m not starving. Interestingly, I didn’t get the usual “hunger pains” that I feel from vape or flower.
• 4:17 pm: No longer interested in taking another 25mg. I am interested in getting out of here, eating some food (burrito maybe?) and watching some TV on the couch.
• 4:26 pm: I texted my coworker, it’s about time to leave. There’s no way I’m making it here until 5pm. I forget if I mentioned my coworker earlier. He gave me a ride to work today in case I got way too high.
• 4:29 pm: My coworker is here! Oh sweet lord, it’s time to go. This has been a fun experiment. I’m now confident I can take 50mg of THC and be pretty fine. I mean, I couldn’t work, but I could go to a concert or a movie or take a plane ride. What a successful day!
• 4:32 pm: I’m signing off for the day. Didn’t make it to 5:30pm, but hey, it was a good day.

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